A Crisis of Faith

Today's Chicago Sun-Times has an article on Mother Teresa's "crisis of faith," as uncovered in some of her letters, reflections, and writings. When published comprehensively, this work is supposed to give us a surprising and frank look at this blessed soul's theological reflection and personal struggles. Indeed, Mother Teresa is said to write about the "dryness, darkness, loneliness, and torture" that she felt, even as she did her work amongst the poor. She questions God's fidelity, and even at points is said to question God's reality.

This work may ruffle some feathers, as many don't want to think of their religious leaders enduring a crisis of faith. But is this altogether surprising? How many among us, even the holiest amongst us, has not questioned God's fidelity? Even the Psalmist writes:

My God, my God,
Why have your forsaken me?
Why are you so far from helping me,
From the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day,
But you do not answer;
And by night,
But find no rest.*

These words, echoed by Jesus on the cross in both Matthew and Mark, give voice to the very deepest feelings of loneliness, dryness, and abandonment. Even Christ, God incarnate, felt abandoned. Therefore, we should be surprised when even the holiest amongst us does not have a crisis of faith. This comes with the territory as the desert of this world sometimes feels unendingly parched as we trip on stones that will not turn into bread, and rocks that will not gush forth water. A crisis of faith is nothing to laugh at, but is not necessarily destructive and nothing new.

Even now, some in this congregation might be feeling a faith crisis, as we wait, listen, and pray for news on our senior pastor's surgery. And even as our anxiety grows, so do our cries: God, do not forsake us in this time!

And God will not; God does not. Even the Psalmist, in their crisis of faith, ends proclaiming:

All you offspring of Jacob,
Glorify God;
Stand in awe of God,
All you offspring of Israel!
For God did not despise
Or abhor the affliction
Of the afflicted;
God did not hide God's face
From me,
But heard when I cried.*

God hears our cries, and even though we might be in crisis, God is not. God continues to stand with us, wait with us, listen with us, even when we feel we are held between moments of time, held in that limbo that is anxiety and uncertainty. And resolution is on the horizon, faith is waiting for us again. The voice that once cried "dryness, darkness, loneliness, and torture" is also the voice that said, "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

Continue to pray, continue to listen, be faithful in small things, God is active.

See you in church,
VT...

*Psalm 22, NRSV