On Visions of Light, Prayer, and Song

My faith looks up to thee
Thou Lamb of Calvary,
Savior divine!
Now hear me while I pray,
Take all my guilt away,
O let me from this day
Be wholly thine!

So went my prayer today. I had read about St. Ignatius having strange and amazing visions from meditating on the phrase: "I am a sinner...I am a sinner..." Far from being a kick to the ground, somehow this phrase became a comfort for me. It first exposes the truth: I am a sinner. It then exposes the hope: In prayer comes that confession, and thus, that absolution. This led to the next wonderful verse.

May thy rich grace impart
Strength to my fainting heart,
My zeal inspire;
As thou has died for me,
O may my love to thee
Pure, warm, and changeless be,
A living fire!

A living fire. As I sat in contemplation I envisioned my form falling under a light intense and bright. My form remained, by the "accidents" were changed. And then, beams from my fingers, as small beacons of light for some wayward ship somewhere. I had become a flame-head, one of those Pentecost survivors. It may sound strange, but this was the vision.

While life's dark maze I tread,
And griefs around me spread,
Be thou my guide;
Bid darkness turn to day,
Wipe sorrow's tears away,
Nor let me ever stray
From thee aside.

And the vision was through, but somehow it lingered in the air. I felt re-energized after a day that was quite taxing. It was as if my guide was made apparent in that beaming light. Christ himself, taken away those things that had weighed me down, that Sin that I confessed to holding onto. No longer was the day weighty, but now was wait-y. That is, I was waiting for the next event. No longer with dread, but with anticipation. No longer with a heavy heart, but now with a heart of joy, with a heart that longed to be plucked again.

When ends life's transient dream,
When death's cold, sullen stream
Shall o'er me roll;
Blest Savior, then, in love,
Fear and distrust remove;
O bear me safe above,
A ransomed soul! Amen.

My new prayer: that when I fall asleep for the last time on this earth, a surprise like the one I experienced today be waiting for me behind those eye-lids. A surprise of life, re-energizing grace, and beacons of light to take this wayward ship home.

Amen.

See you in church,
VT...

The hymn verses from "My Faith Looks Up to Thee" by Raymond Palmer